Coconuts for Weddings on Catalina, Starring a Dog and a Bison

People put all kinds of stuff on coconuts for weddings. Usually it's a monogram or the date.

This couple put a dog on it.

This was Friday, April 26, 2024, on Catalina Island. The stamp was a little drawing of a sitting dog, hot-stamped right on the shell. Some coconuts got a different stamp, a bison standing next to a palm tree. We'll get to the bison. The bison is important.

People ask for engraved coconuts. It's actually a hot stamp, but sure. This time it was also a dog.

the dog

Look, I have no paperwork connecting the dog on the stamp to the real dog at the party. I do have eyes.

The real one was a brown dog in a tropical-print bandana. He sat in the sand next to the bride, tongue out, eyes squeezed shut, looking like he was having the best day of anybody on that island. Later he sat right between the couple while they kissed. Front row. Power move.

So for the afternoon there were two of him. One on the beach, panting. A whole bunch of little ones on the coconuts, also kind of panting. I could not tell you which one had more fans.

also there's a bison

Catalina has a herd of real bison. On an island. In the ocean. I think about this more than a grown man should.

A bison stamp makes total sense. It's the local celebrity. The groom, in a pink patterned shirt and blue shorts, held his bison coconut straight out at arm's length like he was presenting evidence in court.

Exhibit A, your honor. A coconut. With a bison on it. The defense rests.

how the day went

It kicked off around 12:20 on a wooden pier with teal booths, American flags, palm trees and a "U-Drive Boats" sign. The bride was all in white, hat and sunglasses too, carrying a tote that said "Bride" and twirling like she owned the pier. Her friends in colorful dresses had their arms in the air.

The groom, denim jacket over the pink shirt, kissed her behind her hat so nobody would see. The hat said "Mrs." Real subtle, you two.

Then a boat. By 12:30 she'd switched to a sparkly captain's hat that said "BRIDE," which I'm pretty sure is maritime law.

Around 1:20, on a path near the beach, she bent down to say hi to a brown dog in a harness. Same dog? Different outfit, maybe. I'm not ruling anything out, and the stamp isn't talking.

By about 1:30 everybody was on a sandy cove with a hillside behind it and sailboats moored all over the water. Palm trees, thatched-roof cabanas, lounge chairs, a buffet, a flower arrangement with orchids and red flowers. And coconuts going around with dogs and bison on them, which on that island is basically just a census.

An older guy in a blue vest held his dog coconut like a cup of coffee at a Little League game. Couples in swimsuits held theirs up together. A family of three got in on it. One guy in board shorts had a different drink in his hand, standing right next to a woman holding a coconut, and I'm choosing to believe she got the better end of that.

The coconuts got a purple orchid on top and a straw, natural or black. One showed up with a green garnish that looked a lot like mint. Somebody freelanced. I respect it.

Our staff opens each Nam Hom coconut fresh, right there in front of you. Somewhere there's a guy who really wants you to notice the stamp. That's me. I'm the guy.

then the swimsuits came out

Later the bride was in a white bikini and heart-shaped sunglasses, holding a dog coconut. The groom dipped her on the sand and she leaned back laughing. The family gathered on the beach and under a cabana.

The dog went wading with a guest at the water's edge and did not bring a coconut. Which, fine. He's on plenty of them already.

No comment from the bison.

If you want your own dog on a coconut, here's what we do for weddings.

I've stamped a lot of logos and monograms. Not one of them has ever shown up to the party in a bandana.